Ugh.....my mom died unexpectedly 14 days ago, exactly two weeks, I find myself bargaining with God to turn back time. The What If's are making me crazy and the one person in the world that would make me feel better about this entire situation....is gone. Death, for those of us left behind, SUCKS. I miss my mom.
I am not sure that I could survive this grief without my kids. They have shocked me with their intuition, made me laugh through my tears and been so incredibly sweet to me. Normally when my kids say or do something funny or cute, I call my mom...
- On the way to the burial from the funeral, I overheard Logan ask Caden "Are there white tigers in Heaven?" Caden said (without looking up from his video game "Yes, all animals are in Heaven...but they are all nice when they get there" .... Logan's wheels turning says to me (without knowing I'd been listening), "Mom, Mama Sue is petting white tigers in Heaven"
- My wonderful friend Kendra bought all my kids treasure boxes to decorate and put things that remind them of Mama Sue in and when they are sad they can look through them...Caden walked around my moms house and found a ceramic egg rock that he'd been eyeing for years and some quarters and an airplane pendant and he put her program from the funeral in the box as well. After the funeral I was in her room and broke down and he came in and said..."are you sad right now about Mama Sue?" I said, "yes" he ran out of the room and returned with his treasure box.
- Another time that I was crying, Presley grabbed my cheeks and said "You missing Mama Sue? I be right back, I go get her"
- I was again, very visibly upset and Logan laid his head in my lap and after a while he looked up and I just spilled to him that I just wanted to talk to my mom so bad....he said in a very frustrated voice, "Why didn't she just remember her phone when she went to heaven."
- At my mom's funeral, I played Amazing Grace by LeAnn Rimes and Caden put his hand up to worship....Oh this just melts my heart...
- Logan asked me if Mama Sue uses the restroom in Heaven
This last picture was taken the morning she went in for surgery on Tuesday, March 29th. This is the last picture ever taken of mom...with her little Presley.
1 comment:
What joy the kids will continue to bring through these trying times. I say, every time you want to pick up the phone and call you mom, just call somebody, or Heath, or just talk to the kids. I was thinking that had to be the hardest part, not being able to pick up the phone and talk to her. I think I love Logan's thought on why she didn't take her phone with her to heaven. Precious children of God!!!
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